We must admit we feel a certain hesitancy about this post. To date, the entire roster of deadman/party beered musicians consists of Mike Love, Phil Collins, Ludacris, and Neil Young. All upstanding gentlemen to be sure, but not exactly indicators that we are particularly cool or have heard any music (save Luda) in the last 20 years. Still, we can’t help but throw our support behind the smoothest chanteuse we know of, Sade.
Aside from her good looks, it is difficult to explain exactly why we love Sade so much. Her music contains nearly lethal doses of smooth jazz, which ranks as our least favorite genre of music (well, do pop-punk covers of 80’s hits constitute an entire genre?) and she is beloved by an especially obnoxious brand of liberal yuppie who think that listening to a Nigerian born singer means they are into world music. In spite of ourselves, we can’t help but surrender to her husky, honey soaked alto and those easy repetitive grooves. Try to spend 15 minutes listening to Sade songs and see if you can get those damn things out of your head (spoiler alert: you can’t).
We aren’t the sort of lads who have a secret cabinet full of scented candles and oils used to dish out erotic massages, but if we ever decide to get a cabinet like that, rest assured that it will include a Sade mix cd (we must note that there is a distinct possibility that in jamming to “The Sweetest Taboo” while doing the dishes we are actually creepier than the silk bikini-briefed fellow listening to it while giving his lady a sensual rub down). Sade’s tunes are just about the smoothest things on earth. If you are in the kind of mood where listening to Steely Dan’s Gaucho or the assorted works of James Ingram more of an aural assault than you can handle, pump up the Sade and let quiet storm roll over you. Damn that shit is smooth.
In addition to creating an entire catalogue of smooth masterpieces, Sade (if her 80’s video output is to be believed) is an avid equestrian. The bulk of her videos feature at least one shot of her burning through the desert atop her trusty steed. Her horseback riding is the perfect compliment to the whole Romancing the Stone vibe she was cultivating in those days and even though we should know better, we admit the whole exotic post-colonial thing was pretty fun for awhile. It probably came pretty naturally to her, being born in Nigeria to an African father and English mother and raised in London. Not cringe inducing like the “Hungry Like the Wolf” video at least. We have a hunch that Sade doesn’t even drink beer, but we want to buy her something. Maybe a nice cognac? Something smooooooth.